Post by evelyn alexis davis on Jul 20, 2011 18:25:16 GMT -5
evelyn alexis davis
seventeen, student, introvert, sweetheart, depressed.
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I used to be a really happy kid, I'm sure I was. I used to be a lot of things. The girl who was social with everybody, the one who could make anybody laugh, the girl with two loving parents. But I've come to learn that things can't stay perfect forever and life is a major disappointment. I'm sure that you're thinking my life sounds like some sort of book or movie that you've read or seen a million times before. It's not, though, I can promise you that. My life doesn't include a happy ending, not yet anyways and I don't see one jumping out at me anytime soon.
Alright, I'll jump out of this depressing crap for a bit and get to talking about my life story and all of that stuff, since you're so darn nosy. Here we go.
I was born on January twenty seventh really early in the morning, somewhere around four. My mom and I used to joke about how I owed her for keeping her up so late. I can't say I was a mommy or daddy's girl because I was a little bit of both. Dad put me in sports teams, mom put me in dance classes and I loved doing both because it made them so happy. It also helped introduce me to tons of people, I was a bit of a social butterfly when I was younger.
My dad is a dentist and my mom stayed at home with me before I started school, I remember crying every day for the first month of kindergarten because I hated leaving my mom. Eventually I got over it and actually enjoyed going to school. I loved learning and going to the library was my favorite, there was something about reading that I really enjoyed. Couldn't get enough of it.
The rest of my elementary education life consisted of basically the same thing; school (which I took very seriously), spend time with mom and dad, hang out with friends, dance class, softball. My life was so simple and I loved everything about it.
In middle school, not much changed. Not at first anyways. I took my grades too serious and lost some friends because I spent so much time perfecting my school work. I had my first few boyfriends in middle school, but nothing went further than a quick kiss on the lips.
During the end of middle school, my life took a turn for the worst. I was thirteen years old, thinking that I was much older than I actually was. The night that changed my life is still a vivid memory in my mind, I can remember it clearly. I had arranged a meeting with my parents that night, I was planning on asking them to give me some more adult responsibilities. I remember sitting at the kitchen table, a pad of paper in front of me with all of the ideas I wanted to express printed on it, waiting for them to get home. But my mom never came home.
It was a car crash. An accident. At least that's what I think everyone told me, it's all sort of a blur. The funeral was the worst day of my life. All of the hugs, the kisses, the tears. I just wanted to be alone and nobody would let me. I quit dance. I quit softball. I stopped caring about my grades, just did enough school work to get by. Nothing mattered anymore.
To make matters worse, I couldn't even lean on my dad for support. It didn't seem like he was my dad anymore. Working all day, drinking all night. I hadn't only lost my mom that night, I lost my dad too. All of those adult responsibilities I wanted? Yeah, I got them. I got more than I wanted and I hated myself for wanting them in the first place.
Yeah, I'm a little depressed. Okay... more like a lot depressed. It's my senior year in high school now and I'm on the road to not even graduating. I hardly have any friends, the ones I do have aren't good for me and I know that. But I thought hanging out with them and becoming involved in the things they do would open my dad's eyes but they haven't. Now I stick around with them because it numbs the pain.
God, I can't believe I just talked about all of that. It made me feel better. Sort of. Alright, I'm going to finish this off with a few things that are more on the positive side. Then I think you'll know way too much about me.
As far as my personality goes, I'm not nearly as depressing to everybody else as I am inside my head. I try to keep a smile on my face in front of everybody else. I'm not very social or anything like that, but the friends I do have seem to like me. I guess I'm sort of nurturing. Helping other people and making them feel good about themselves takes my mind off of things at home. It's sort of an addiction.
My experience with the opposite sex is pretty lame. Right after my mom died, I sort of lashed out and made out with a few guys just because it took my mind off of things. But I haven't been that way since freshman year. Finding somebody to lean on would be nice, I guess. I'm too scared of losing somebody else to ever make a move though. I can't lose another person.
We'll finish this off with likes and dislikes and then I'm done. I'm sick of talking about myself!
Likes: boys, owls, writing, laughing, weekends, sleeping, Harry Potter, fashion, sunny days.
Dislikes: death, snakes, rainy days, broken nails, bad hair days, stubbed toes, sickness, pimples, school work.
Evelyn's level of anxiety was through the roof when she woke up that morning, nervous for the outcome of her day. Before today, she had only written silly stories. Nothing too serious and all of it had been very kind. She was not a rude person at all and her boss had seen that about her. Unfortunately, that same boss was also always trying to push his reporters past their comfort zones. He thought it made them stronger in the end but in Evelyn's case, it only made her a nervous wreck.
She had been given the assignment of writing a review. A bad review. The task had been difficult at first but she had gotten the hang of it and it had actually been sort of exciting. Evelyn had the opportunity to say things that she would never truly say in reality and she continued to let the words pour out of her fingertips because none of it seemed real. But it was real now, the article had been released in the newest issue of the Daily Prophet and she felt like absolute crap about it. What made matters even worse was that she actually knew the guy who she was writing the review on and although he was a bit of an ass and deserved every word she gave him, she still felt like a jerk.
That morning, she got ready for her day in a bit of a daze. Same old boring outfit, same make-up she wore every single day, a splash of the same perfume. Everything was routine except this time she was doing it all with her heart pounding like a crazy drummer in her chest. Her morning at work hadn't been particularly exciting, not even a single person had mentioned her review. That was a good sign. Maybe she was making too big of a deal about it when she didn't need to. That happened quite often.
About mid-morning, all of her hopes came crashing down when she heard her name called outside her office. It wasn't even called, more like screamed obnoxiously loud. The person even added a little creepy phrase at the end that was a bit childish but also gave her goosebumps. Oh god, why did it have to be her name that was called? She peeked out her window and instantly felt like she was in a nightmare. It was Holden calling her name and he did not look happy. God, she shouldn't have written that review. She should have just quit her job and been done with it. But she hadn't and no matter how bad she just wanted to hide, she had to face the consequences of her decisions.
