Post by audrey emily hathaway on Jul 23, 2011 17:31:17 GMT -5
audrey emily hathaway
eighteen, high school senior, aristocratic & quiet & dorky
[/size]FAMILY
well, my ancestors came to the united states early in its history, acquired a large holding, and maintained their wealth for several generations. i was born in new york city, where my grandfather, on my mother's side, is still the senator. my father is the ceo of a successful business law firm. i'm an only child, and i got the attention and the love that the only child usually gets. my mother raised me up with good manners and taught me how to be polite and proper and everything. she told me what a lady should act like and do, and my father taught me to strive for perfection. i was well taken care of, and rarely put in the spotlight. actually, most of the citizens in new york didn't even know that the senator had a granddaughter. i wasn't allowed to go to public school, because of high risk that i would be harmed and people would take advantage of me to use against my grandfather. before i go into college, my parents wanted me to get a taste of public schooling and sent me over to new haven to live with my aunt for a while. so i could get used to being around people and building relationships. i know they wanted the best for me, but i'm not really sure that this is the best idea..PEERS
i don't have friends. at all, i don't know why. i'm just not a people-person. i turn people off by the way i talk and stuff. it's probably because i talk and act differently from what “usual” girls talk and act like. i don't swear, for one. and i don't really use slang or vulgar language. see, “vulgar” most people don't even say that. i'm sure most people don't use “cognizant” as a word to describe themselves. cognizant is one of my favorite words, so is obdurate. see, i'm both of those things. i love school, i love learning and applying what i know to tests and everything. i have a 4.0, and... well... i read ahead in my texts books cause it's fun. you might think i have at least some dorky friends, but i don't. i guess nerds don't like me either. anyways, i've never went to a party, done drugs, or drank alcohol, or have sexual intercourse. the way i was raised, was to be traditional, i guess you could say. i'd rather stay at home on weekends reading classical stories like a midsummer night's dream or the odyssey. oh, and i've never had a relationship before. never. i've never held hands or hugged or kissed any one. i just turn super red around guys and i can't talk- not that i'm a talkative person in general. and the guys who are interested in me? well, let's say that after a while they just can't handle my dorky jokes anymore and would rather go to bed with a girl who's up for it. a lot of people think i'm too uptight and snobby and stuck up. i don't see why, i'm genuinely nice to everyone and i don't talk about people behind their backs. i don't even think i've said a rude thing about anyone in my life! i guess they just don't like me because i'm different. different's not a bad thing, is it?TWITTER POSTS
audreyaway instead of going out and getting drunk, i stay at home in my snuggie reading shakespeare's hamlet. #dork
audreyaway so ready for this final exam. c:
audreyaway @samtsui is my hero, he has the most beautiful voice ever. <3POEMS
“i guess i don't want to confess anything,
for you must have heard everything by now;
and what they all said is true.
it's true that i am such a terrible person,
so much that i
cannot look at you straight in the eye
and tell you anything.”
“i wonder what goes
on in your mind when i look
into your brown eyes”
“tell me what you think of the cries of yellow flowers,
and what you think of the trees that sing.
tell me what you think of the little brown squirrel who fights
whenever a chipmunk tries to break its heart.
and tell me what you think of the life that blossoms in front of you,
of the girl who writes but does not speak.
tell me what you think of me.”SECRETS
i'm a perfectionist and i'm anorexic. i'll eat if people are around, but after that, i'd just run to the bathroom and it'll all come back up again. honestly? i think i'm fat and ugly. i guess it makes sense, i've never been called pretty in my life except for my family members. i know i don't need a guy to make me feel beautiful, but i just feel like i'm not good enough to get anyone. that i'll be alone for the rest of my life. and that scares me, you know? the idea that no one likes me and that i'm destined to be alone. i just really want someone to love me, even if it doesn't seem like it...
matt. such a boring, common name. well, she shouldn't be talking because audrey is also fairly common as well. in the one year that she went to a public high school in new york city, she met five other audreys and an fairly similar amount of matt's. her first crush was a guy named matt. he was the typical american boy, football player, all around jock, and the type of guy who only dates cheerleaders. audrey kept her crush a secret, or at least she tried to. it didn't help much that audrey had fair skin and she easily turned red around guys. whenever matt talked to her or walked by her, she turned a tomato-red and everyone around her knew that she liked him. audrey didn't have any friends, so she didn't have anyone to talk to. eventually her crush on matt subsided after she learned how flippant he was.
now this matt, the one who was sitting right in front of her was equally shy and was almost as red as her. audrey looked around the room, wondering if she should pretend to see someone she knows and escape from this awkward conversation. she wondered what had brought matt to talk to her, when he couldn't even keep a conversation himself. audrey wasn't being rude, she was just being... guarded. she had her guard on all the time, and her nanny at home often told her to stop trying to be so perfect and live a little. but she was living a little, she went to public school, she's in college, and she has a few friends who are as equally nerdy as her.
matt asked how she was, and she looked at him. eyes wider. the phrase “deer in the headlights” appropriately fit the look that she had on her face. um, i'm doing well. thank you. she said in a quiet voice. of course, she wasn't well, but when did people every say that they were doing badly or terribly or hungrily or whatever? most people said well (or good, for those who weren't as nerdy as she was and insisted on using proper grammar), in order to not seem petulant. she looked up at him, square in the eyes, for the first time and asked back, and you? there was a sudden smell of hamburgers and french fries, a boy had brought in mcdonalds and audrey turned a little paler. food. she was hungry, of course, but she would never admit it. nor would she eat. even if she did eat out with her friends or something, it would all come back up eventually.
in order to take her mind off of the food that was brought in, she looked back down at her text book. reading “standing by the doctrine of laissez-faire articulated by economist adam smith in his treatise the wealth of nations, american lawmakers believed that natural market forces, not governments, should regulate the marketplace.” over and over again until she memorized it by heart. she looked down at her thumbs for entertainment, and she temporarily hated herself for being so weak.
